Charlie's Celebration of Life

Grief: The natural response to loss. It is the emotional suffering one feels when something or someone the individual loved is taken away

Grieving has it process...

Shock and Denial

Intense Concern

Despair and Depression

Recovery 

September 9, 2012 is the first day that Naaman and I felt we started the recovery process. We woke up the day after Charlie's celebration of life with a feeling of peace, and appreciation.  Peace because we knew that Charlie is watching down on us, peace because we were surrounded by Charlie's family and friends all weekend, peace because we know Charlie is in good hands, and peace because we know we are going to live our life to the fullest in honor of Charlie. Appreciation for the simple fact that God allowed us to know and love Charlie. 

Charlie's Celebration of life was beautiful, hard, breathtaking, needed, and reminded me that this was actually happening! It isn't a nightmare, and we aren't in a movie. I am really seeing his family and friends mourning the loss of his life. I am looking at pictures of precious but short life. I am hugging and crying uncontrollably into Clay's shoulders. I am watching one of my best friends as she tries to deal with the loss of a true love. I am listening to Sean give the hardest speech of his life. I am wishing I could take all the pain away from Naaman and give him his best friend back!

It is always hard going to something like this, and you never know how you are going to handle it once you are there and seeing everyone who loved Charlie.
The flood gates opened.
My heart started pounding out of my chest.
I couldn't catch my breath.
I felt sick to my stomach.

As hard and painful as the celebration was, it also gave us a tiny piece of closure and a feeling of hopefulness. Charlie had such a tight group of friends, and we all know that we are going to work our ass off to stay in better contact and make more time for each other, in honor of Charlie. If we can make something positive come out of this horrible loss, Charlie would have wanted it to benefit his friends and family. To know that the boys will strive to continue and improve their friendship and bond is something that is positive!

The celebration was prefect in each and every way! We got to see all of our friends from college, talk and laugh about memories of Charlie, send our love messages off into the sky for Charlie to enjoy, and take rocks to place where we think Charlie would enjoy. Naaman and I took a handful and are excited to place them at Charlie's college dorm, 21st & Taylor, OSU football stadium, disk golf course, fishing hole, and keep a couple in our home! What a wonderful idea, and something I will keep forever to remember our dear friend.

Naaman and I made Josh & Kate a photo album of Charlie's college Years! I didn't go through all the years of eye rolls, yelling, getting mad, and begging me to stop from the boys at all the pictures I took, to not share them with everyone! I am just so glad I was able to capture Charlie's years at OSU and all of his adventures with his buddies

I will forever miss hearing Naaman answering Charlie's phone call with "What up Ug!?" shortly followed by "Diz says 'what's up Lyster!'" Thankfully I will still hear the Ug shout-outs when Jake, Clay and Sean call, but my heart will always skip a beating waiting to see if it Charlie on the other end. 

I am blessed to have experienced so many great adventures with Charlie, and each and everyone will have a special place in my heart. Drinking 24/7 in the dorms - road trips - eating stir fry freshman year - at the end of each term going to McNary to buy tons of food with our left over credit - Mom's weekend - Dad's weekend - double dating - slumber parties - experiencing finally being 21 - walking adventures to and from the bars - his protective eye on me at the bars when Naa wasn't there - using pickle juice as a chaser - Mal & I challenging Naa & Charlie in beer pong - him trying to explain fantasy football - working my ass off to beat him in guitar hero - seeing his excitement when it was feeding time for his snake - battle royal between tarantula & scorpion - me kicking is ass beer bonging - tailgating - football games - being apart of Beaver Dam - house parties - me making fun of him for a.l.w.a.y.s wearing Naa's shirts - being able to tell when he used by body wash and shampoo because he ran out - wrestling matches - and experiencing all of our college years together!

I'll love you forever Charlie! Keep that protective eye on me from up there!